THE AVENGERS: Bus Stop
by Little Miss Thalia Grace
Summary: CRACK! The Avengers have to wait at a bus stop.


THE AVENGERS: Bus Stop

"Why the Fuck are we waiting out here?" Tony asked in a whiny voice.

"Because, Stark, we are now Role Models to kids everywhere and as role models we have to do good stuff. Such as waiting for the bus to conserve energy." Natasha reminded him patiently.

"I do not understand, Lady Natasha. Do you Mortals not have the machine you labeled Quinjet?" Thor asked.

"The whole part of saving energy is using resources that are there. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle."

There was a silence for a total of ten seconds before Clint broke it.

"I'm bored. C'mon Tash, can't we just fly the jet?"

"No. And how are you bored? We've been here for a total of fifty seconds." Natasha told her partner.

Yet another silence before-

"HULK SMASH!"

"Hulk!" Steve astonished, "We're trying to keep ourselves low key."

"LOKI!" Thor boomed "WHERE!?"

He stepped forward with Miljnor drawn before Clint held him back.

"Unhand me Mortal! This is family business you have no part in." He was still looking Frantically around for his brother.

Tony looked him straight in the eye and said, "You are a Dumbass."

Thor stopped looking and squirming to look at Tony. "I am not familiar with that Midgardian term. What does it mean?"

Tony was about to say something else before Clint cut across. "It means you are a brave and noble warrior." He said with a perfectly straight face.

"Oh," Thor said before smiling brightly. "I AM A DUMBASS!" He called down the street, attracting stares from the poor bystanders.

Tony, Clint, and surprisingly Steve were laughing hysterically while Natasha was hiding a smile. Hulk looked confused by the whole ordeal. After they settled down, Clint turned to Thor.

"Can't you summon the bus or something? I mean, what use is a god that can't summon things?"

"I'll spit thy summon all over your face, you little bitch!"

Thor was obviously pissed. Clint however, ignored that and talked to Tony, who had submitted himself over into laughter again. "How does he know bitch but not Dumbass?"

"I don't know. Hey Thor-"

"Guys, shut the fuck up." They all turned to stare in shock at Steve.

"Wow Cap, you got a mouth on you today." Unsurprisingly, that was Tony.

"I just want to get there before even more people get mugged, or shot, or both!"

"Wait, why don't we hail a cab or something?" Tony raised his hand to call a cab over, but Steve slapped it away.

"Are you kidding? I'd rather hail HYDRA than that over priced shit."

"Wow Cap, you are really pushing it. Seriously, my mother is rolling in her grave right now."

"Shut up Stark."

"At this point, we should just steal a limo." Clint said as he adjusted his bow and arrow.

"Why, so you can give it to the poor?" Thor laughed at him.

"Fuck you."

"FUCK YOU!"

"Hey guys, it's the bus!" The relief in Natasha's voice was very evident. The bus slowed down as it pulled up. The driver took one look at their group and kept on driving.

They watched him go with multiple cries of "What the fuck?"

Natasha sighed in defeat. "Let's just take the fucking jet."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

When they finally got to their destination, they climbed up the stairs with their weapons drawn. When they got to the door they were assigned, they knocked on the door.

A very agitated Nick Fury stood there, decked out in his usual eye patch and trench coat, but underneath he wore footie pajama's with pictures of different gun types. While it was a rather bizarre sight, the Avengers ignored it. Especially when he started yelling at them.

"We're the fuck were you?! I said to be here twenty five minutes ago! Crime doesn't wait for your slow, puny asses."

Next thing they knew, they were sitting on Fury's couch, a verity of snacks and drinks surrounding them. They each had a controller (yes, even Hulk) and were currently shooting the heads off of any Zombies that got in the way on their screen.

This, my friends, is what the Avengers (and Nick Fury) do when they are off Duty.


End file.
